The Healthy Compulsive Project:

Since people with obsessive-compulsive personality traits often feel that the right thing is to hold on to money, time, objects and compliments, they may miss out on the benefits of generosity. And since they tend to get engrossed in goals, projects, and fixing things, they may neurologically wire themselves into a narrow focus which excludes generosity. I can’t guarantee you’ll feel happier if you engage in large or small acts of kindness, but I do believe there is a very good chance that you will at least feel like your life has more meaning—and, silver lining for the compulsive—you’ll feel like you have more control over your mood.

True Confidence is not confidence that you’ll get the decision right and everything will work out just fine and dandy, but that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes up—including your anxiety.

But perhaps most importantly, one of the best strategies to help you retire from the Stupidity Police is to simply look in the mirror. It helps me to let up on other people just to recall my own stupidities—without lambasting myself for them.

At the healthy end of the obsessive-compulsive spectrum we find meaningful urges that were lost when urgency to deal with anxiety and insecurity took over. Creating, producing, and fixing can fulfill our need for purpose if approached mindfully. But too often our urgency leads to an amnesia for meaning.

Some habits that bring you into therapy could slow your progress down, but some of your traits, used consciously, could speed you up. This is the nature of therapy, and working these through is what makes it brighter on the other side. Any effort you put into making therapy work will also make your life work.

My approach to psychotherapy includes the removal and reduction of symptoms, and, at least as importantly, seeking out and integrating skills and personality parts that have been missing from the lives of my clients. I’ve noticed that there is a particular subset of overlapping skills that often goes missing together: The capacity to tolerate not knowing and not controlling The…

Building a solid foundation of basic respect, and furnishing it with self-compassion will diminish imposter syndrome. Rather than splitting yourself between how you look and how you feel, image yourself as whole, congruent and harmonious, all parts embraced by consciousness. Then you're ready to face those challenges that are only partly in your control. 

Imagine a couple going through fertility treatment. They’re expected to make love at certain times to increase their likelihood of a productive outcome. One or both partners may find themselves suddenly short on libido and long on headaches, unconsciously resisting the doctor’s prescriptive intrusion into a very private space, even though this means not having kids or the ultimate sensual…

We’re all familiar with the results of typical hoarding behavior: newspapers piled in towers reaching for the celling, old mechanical parts bursting the seams of the garage, or a thousand rolls of toilet paper crouching in the basement just waiting to be used. This kind of hoarding can be ruinous for individuals and their families. But there is another type…

In my last post I argued that it’s important for us to know that we are enough; that accepting ourselves as we are right now is an essential step in achieving mental health. In this post I’ll explore the other side of the coin—wanting to change, to grow and be more than enough. That previous post was about acceptance. This…