The metaphor of being taken over in The Matrix is particularly apt for those with obsessive-compulsive personality, which has been compared to a “living machine” because it can be very mechanical. There’s good reason why there are so many stories of machines taking over. And it’s not just about AI and computers. They describe what can, and often does, happen inside of us.
The machine that’s draining your energy is inside of you, not outside.
We’ve got perfectionism all wrong. The real problem isn’t high standards—it’s the illusion of perfectibility and harsh judgment that have been grafted onto it. Perfectionism began as a guide toward purpose, but centuries of distortion turned it into an enforcer of impossible ideals. Instead of banishing perfectionism, we can reclaim its adaptive side—commitment, persistence, and pursuit of excellence—while stripping away conceit and control. By befriending adaptive perfectionism, acknowledging its shadow, and clarifying our purpose, we transform it from a tyrant into a trusted partner. This episode brings together science and Jungian psychology for an unconventional approach to dealing with perfectionism.
The very common but unrecognized disease of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) has a long and inglorious history—though they didn’t call it that 3000 years ago. They would have called it hubris, because the people who had this disease believed they knew everything and had the gall to try to control everything.
But they also had Anake to help them with this problem. When people recognized the goddess of compulsion and fate, they chilled out and let go of their fantasies of control. But while we might be familiar with Zeus, Apollo, and Dionysus, today we are oblivious to Ananke, and the limits she imposes. But these limits don’t go away.
And in our efforts to avoid them we become diseased.
Perfectionism distances us rather than connecting us. There’s always something wrong with the world, so we give it the cold shoulder and go our merry way. But this actually causes alienation, that vague but ever-present sense that we are at odds with the world around us and that it’s a dangerous place. We don’t belong and it makes us anxious. As if an imperfect world could never be our world.
Insecurity is often the cause of people becoming unhealthy compulsives rather than healthy compulsives. It’s as if life were a test and, fearing we will fail, we resort to rules, rigidity and control to prevent failure. It can be so prevalent, yet so hard to see, that it’s like the air we breathe. But rather than trying desparately to pass the test, we can take a pass on the test, and adopt ways of living that have more meaning.
True Confidence is not confidence that you’ll get the decision right and everything will work out just fine and dandy, but that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes up—including your anxiety.
My approach to psychotherapy includes the removal and reduction of symptoms, and, at least as...
Building a solid foundation of basic respect, and furnishing it with self-compassion will diminish imposter syndrome. Rather than splitting yourself between how you look and how you feel, image yourself as whole, congruent and harmonious, all parts embraced by consciousness. Then you’re ready to face those challenges that are only partly in your control.
Imagine a couple going through fertility treatment. They’re expected to make love at certain times...
Psychiatrist Carl Jung liked to ask people, and I am paraphrasing lightly, “But then what...
