The Healthy Compulsive Project:

Imagine two perfectionists. When Estella feels that she’s fallen short of her standards, she puts more pressure on herself to succeed. She tries to raise her self-esteem through more success. Coco, on the other hand, deals with falling short of her perfectionistic standards by comforting herself with compassion, and remembering that it’s just her humanity kicking in. These are two…

There’s a new treatment for OCPD. Well, maybe for some with OCPD. A few years ago, in regard to a post describing different psychotherapies for OCPD (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder), a reader asked in a comment why I hadn’t mentioned RO DBT (Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy). I had been unaware of this form of therapy at the time, but have…

What is the difference between obsessive and compulsive? The terms obsessive and compulsive are bound together so often that we usually don’t distinguish between them. Even some dictionaries don’t differentiate between the two. But they are different, and blurring the two robs you of a chance to understand your personality and to target the issues you want to change. To…

In a previous post I wrote about the anxiety that people with obsessive and compulsive personalities face, distinguishing surface fears from deep fears, and suggesting four steps for working through the deeper fears that lead to our most painful struggles. In this post I will explore in more detail how to identify core fears and how to tame them so…

Years ago, when I was first learning lovingkindness meditation, I had a problem with it. These phrases are typically repeated as part of the meditation: May all beings be safe May all beings be healthy May all beings be happy May all beings live with ease . You repeat these phrases first for yourself, then someone close to you, then…

Some of us live by our lists. We do whatever they tell us to do. Others dig their heels in and rebel against whatever chores have been assigned there. But who makes the list? Whoever does determines the power of lists to make our lives miserable or fulfilling. If the inner tyrant makes the list on its own, the projects…

There is sometimes a certain self-deception in perfectionism which can tragically rob us of more fulfilling lives, lives which could be lived in service to more gratifying ideals and goals. We might like to think we are living according to our values, but out of insecurity end up valuing perfectionism itself instead. Bob Dylan famously sang, “You’re gonna have to…

Meditation for Type A personality, and people who are driven or obsessive-compulsive, might seem like a bridge too far. They might like the idea of the rewards of meditation, but they often find the process itself discouraging or even off-putting for a number of reasons. It might feel foreign to their nature and even contradictory to their principles. These hesitancies…

Earth Day blew by recently so I started thinking about how spending time in Nature can help heal unhealthy compulsive tendencies. And it occurred to me, the activity we need the most is often the activity that we don’t bother doing. There’s an increasing amount of research which suggests that spending at least two hours each week engaging with nature…

How do I move past creative blocks? Many people get stuck and aren’t able to complete creative projects. But this can be particularly disturbing for people with obsessive-compulsive personality (OCP) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). Because, as I see it, creativity springs from compulsion. There is something you need to do, but with a creative block you can’t. The word…