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The Healthy Compulsive Project: Help for OCPD, Workaholics, Obsessives, & Type A PersonalityThe Healthy Compulsive Project: Help for OCPD, Workaholics, Obsessives, & Type A Personality
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compulsive personality blog

The Healthy Compulsive Project: Taking the Wheel of the Driven Personality

May 31, 2018 Posted by Gary Trosclair 14 Comments

Contents

  • Why A Compulsive Personality Blog?
    • A Style with Extremes: The Compulsive Personality Spectrum
    • Taking the Wheel of Passion and Energy
    • The Larger Project: Individuation

Why A Compulsive Personality Blog?

It’s so hard to stop. Hard to stop working, thinking, perfecting, controlling, planning and doing. This drive can be tormenting. But it can also be fulfilling–both the doing and the finishing. 

What determines whether it’s tormenting or fulfilling?

The answer isn’t simple, and getting from torment to fulfillment isn’t easy either. You’ll never be completely free of the drive. But it is possible that you can be the driver, rather than being driven by unhealthy impulses. 

The goal of this Project, including the blog, the podcast (coming soon to a platform near you), and the book, is to share what I’ve learned as a clinician and human about how to make this shift. It’s intended for people who are by nature obsessive, compulsive and perfectionistic. And those that live with them. 

I love having a project. And ones that have a personal component for me, and that can also be of benefit to others, are especially gratifying. 

I love to write and I love to think about personality, what motivates us and what fulfills us. I love to focus on a challenge and bring it to completion, as perfectly as I possibly can. And I love to work, whether it’s helping clients, crafting a clear and engaging lecture, balancing my checkbook, or doing battle with my archenemy, the obstinate, invasive vines that threaten the woods near my home.

All of the traits that I’ve just described about myself could be described as compulsive.  They all rise from inner urges that are hard to resist. These passions all spring from within me and I feel compelled to act on them.

compulsively Driven

I’m Driven.

And that could be a problem if I’m not driving consciously, if I’m not taking the wheel.

A Style with Extremes: The Compulsive Personality Spectrum

Anyone who has compulsive tendencies can become a victim of these urges. They can become rigid, judgmental, over-controlling, reactive, rushed, miserly and workaholic in order to meet their goals. They can become mean, Puritanical and destructive in the name of doing the “right” thing. They can also become anxious, burnt-out, and depressed.

The compulsive personality style can lead to extremes: really productive and caring, or really neurotic and callous. The American Psychiatric Association calls the negative end of this spectrum Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. (People often refer to it by its acronym, OCPD).   The APA has no name for the positive end of the spectrum. It takes conscious effort to take the wheel of compulsive energy and guide it to the healthy end. That’s what The Healthy Compulsive Project is all about. 

A healthy compulsive is one whose energy, passion and talents for achievement are used consciously in the service of love and purpose. An unhealthy compulsive is one whose energy, passion and talents for achievement have been hijacked by fear and its henchman, anger. Both are driven: one by meaning, the other by dread.

In this blog I’ll be exploring the inner workings and outer manifestations of the compulsive personality, or, as I prefer to call it, the Driven personality. I’ll be getting into the nitty gritty of how these tendencies show up in everyday life, and the bigger picture of how to enlist them meaningfully. I’ll be writing about how to become a healthy compulsive.

Taking the Wheel of Passion and Energy

But just so that you have a rough idea what I mean by this I’ll give you a bare bones preview. My personal experience, clinical experience, and study of the research literature have led me to conclude that there are a basic steps we need to take in order to take the wheel of this energetic disposition:

 

• Acknowledge that you have a compulsive personality style and take pride in it. The people who don’t acknowledge it, and so don’t see the dangers in it, are usually the ones who go off the deep end.

 

• Slow down enough to look inside and remember what your deepest passions are. Where do they really want to go? A sense of accomplishment? Mastery? Fulfillment?  Contribution?  

 

• Ask whether another part of your personality has taken over the wheel: Insecurities? A need to be respected? A need to prove yourself? 

 

• Ask what coping strategy you enlisted to deal with insecurities: Overworking? Being perfect? Pleasing others? Controlling others? Planning and preparing?

 

• Take back the wheel by honoring the original intention of your drives, and don’t get caught in a blind and rigid execution of them. Given the realities of your life, how can you find peace, self-regard, or a sense of accomplishment?

 

• Don’t allow your tendencies to work, perfect, control, plan, and judge crowd out your other desires, such as enjoying and nurturing relationships, taking time for leisure and play, and savoring what’s good in the present moment.

 

I’ll be going into greater depth with these in future posts.

The Larger Project: Individuation

The way I see it, together these steps constitute a larger Project that everyone has the potential to engage in, compulsive or not: cultivating our unique gifts in a way that benefits us and the world around us.  Psychiatrist Carl Jung called this Individuation.

Much of the good that’s accomplished in the world is accomplished by people who have compulsive tendencies. They get the job done. And much of the bad is wrought by people whose intense willpower gets hijacked by fear. Even if they do get the job done, they achieve it with lots of collateral damage. 

(I need to add a caveat here. One type of compulsive, the type who tends more toward obsessing and thinking does not get the job done, despite ambitious intentions. Their way of handling their anxiety is to procrastinate, and all the work goes on in their mind. I’ll describe the four types of compulsives later.)

The fate of our world is determined not by the people with the best ideas, but by the people with the most determination. Most of these people are Driven—often to their own detriment and the detriment of others–by judgement, punishment, and unrealistic expectations. Many who end up in leadership positions are compulsive, and many of them are unhappy, unhealthy, unbalanced, and, worst of all, unconscious. We need their energy, but we should also be asking how we can help them drive better.

That’s one reason why I’m taking on this project: to create awareness of the condition and to help people use their Driven nature in a more constructive way. Research tells us OCPD is too often not recognized by lay people or clinicians, and the result is that it too often turns destructive. 

I’ll be exploring how the Driven personality operates, and how to get it running smoothly. I’ll be looking at it from very different perspectives: psychological research, Jungian psychology and spirituality, personal stories, and film and literature reviews. 

Please join me in this project. We have good things to do with our drive.  

___________________________

If you haven’t seen it yet, check out my new book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you think it would be helpful to others, please leave a review.

And, if you’d like to get all of my posts when they come out, click that subscribe button and enter your email address. 

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  • A WordPress Commenter
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    February 24, 2018 at 9:41 PM

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  • Eric Siegel
    · Reply

    May 3, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    Thank you for taking this on. Your perspective on the positive aspects of psychological growth is a very healthy counterbalance, from which I have benefitted personally. I will share this among other driven folks I know.

  • Melody G
    · Reply

    July 15, 2018 at 4:20 PM

    interesting!
    I’ve recently read ‘The people you are’ by Rita Carter which suggests that we have different personalities or aspects of ourselves which tend to come into play in different situations. It’s really got me thinking.
    Do you think there can be some milder parts of us which can moderate some of the unhelpful aspects of drivenness, or can we contain our drivenness to just some parts of our day?

    • Gary Trosclair
      · Reply

      Author
      February 10, 2019 at 12:05 PM

      Sorry for the delay. Yes, definitely. With awareness of the different parts of ourselves we can moderate the less healthy aspects of the driven personality. Either childish or judgmental parts of the personality can be channeled or directed by the observing ego, or the “adult” part which can help us remember the original purpose of our drive. Like the charioteer in the icon of this site, we can use these energies more wisely. The danger is that if the charioteer is too controlling we lose touch with our natural energies and drives, which can be wise and fulfilling.

  • Al Lands
    · Reply

    March 15, 2019 at 12:39 PM

    Amazing!!! I’d love to see your updates on this.

  • Cornelia
    · Reply

    June 21, 2019 at 11:27 AM

    Thank you so much for these articles. My husband is OCPD and it has been a rough road. He can be a good person which is why I have stayed with him for 22 years but I’m wearing down. These articles are amazing.

    • Gary Trosclair
      · Reply

      Author
      June 21, 2019 at 11:35 AM

      Thanks for letting me know, Connie. Very glad to hear that they are helpful. Best of luck in your marriage.

  • Cornelia
    · Reply

    September 17, 2019 at 2:40 PM

    Just reporting that after 22 years, we are divorcing. For most of those years, I have been begging my spouse to get help. He was diagnosed with “Driven Personality” by professionals but can’t stand that I keep telling him he needs help. He has lost his relationship with 3 of 4 of his children. They want nothing to do with him. The 4th knows his father and keeps his distance but tries to have a relationship with him. He is starting to show more paranoia and turns the fault onto everyone else. My husband fits your explanation above to a tee. Unfortunately, he just can’t “acknowledge that you have a compulsive personality style and take pride in it. The people who don’t, and so don’t see the dangers in it, are usually the ones who go off the deep end.” Acknowledging is everything. Without that acknowledgment, relationships are doomed. I have really appreciated your blog.

    • Gary Trosclair
      · Reply

      Author
      October 4, 2019 at 6:34 PM

      Hi Connie. Sorry that it had to come to that for you and your husband. It’s quite sad, but sometimes it is the best solution. I am glad that you are taking care of yourself. I’m glad to know the blog has been helpful to you.

  • Tammy
    · Reply

    May 6, 2021 at 5:37 PM

    Idk if this is the type of comment you’re hoping for and I apologize if it isn’t but in reference to your book, do you have an audio version anywhere? I’d love to listen but as my days are packed (yes, I’m the “driven” one) it would be beneficial if I could access an audio version.
    Thank you.

    • Gary Trosclair
      · Reply

      Author
      May 6, 2021 at 5:45 PM

      Thanks for asking. So far there is no audio version of the book. I’ll pass on the request to my publisher!

      Gary

  • Tammy
    · Reply

    May 6, 2021 at 11:21 PM

    I hope to see (or hear ????) one soon! Thank you for your prompt response.

  • Ami
    · Reply

    January 2, 2024 at 1:51 AM

    Discovering how to steer intense, compulsive traits towards positive outcomes. Its about understanding these qualities using them wisely, and finding a healthy balance between drive and harmful behavior.

  • Margie101
    · Reply

    February 9, 2024 at 8:50 AM

    Thanks for posting this blog.
    I just got my diagnosis two weeks ago. A shock, but it explained so much.
    I made a list of those ‘habits’ that I need to change; others I will keep.

    Someone broke up with me. The last thing they said was “You try too hard”.
    Yep. Story of my life until now.
    🙂

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