What is the difference between obsessive and compulsive?
The terms obsessive and compulsive are bound together so often that we usually don’t distinguish between them. Even some dictionaries don’t differentiate between the two. But they are different, and blurring the two robs you of a chance to understand your personality and to target the issues you want to change.
To make the situation muddier, compulsive and compulsion, are different. Obsessive and obsession are different. Without distinguishing these, knowing just what to work on is also harder.
If you’re thinking somebody should have made this clearer, and somebody should straighten it out, I agree completely.
But meanwhile, we’ll deal with what we’ve got.
Contents
The Difference Between Obsessive and Compulsive
Obsessive usually refers to unrelenting thinking, whereas compulsive usually refers to unrelenting doing or behavior. Obsessive originally derived from the word “besieged,” whereas compulsive originally derived from the words “driven” or “compelled.”
The two terms were originally wed together to describe how many people use behavior to avoid their disturbing thoughts. But some people are more obsessive than compulsive. And vice versa. And some are only one or the other.
And more importantly, this formulation misses the fact that what’s really being avoided in both cases are disturbing feelings—not just thoughts.
Yes, some people are both obsessive and compulsive. And even then, noticing when you use which strategy could be instructive. We need to identify the background feeling that leads to the thinking or behavior.
Obsessive Thinking
Obsessive refers to a personality style that tries systematically to use thinking to avoid uncomfortable feelings. This isn’t about a few specific thoughts or obsessions, but about a pervasive life strategy.
Oscar, for instance, thinks endlessly about what he’s done wrong or could do wrong. Remorse and regret follow him like his shadow on a sunny day. Doesn’t matter what he does. He’ll regret it whether he goes to happy hour with his colleagues or not. He plans tens steps down the road. He tries to use thinking to get away from the feeling that he could make a mistake and hurt someone else. It doesn’t work but it’s hard to stop because the feeling of shame seems intolerable. But he’s not aware that that’s why he obsesses so much of the time.
Compulsive Behavior
Compulsive refers to a personality style that tries systematically to use behavior to avoid uncomfortable feelings. This is not about a few specific behaviors or compulsions, but about a pervasive life strategy.
Cameron, for instance, always keeps busy by getting things in order at work and home. Nothing specific, just a way of being. She genuinely likes the result of having a well-organized house, but it crowds out any awareness of something missing. She’s not aware that it helps her to avoid her depression and sense of meaninglessness that she’s hid from herself for so long.
The Difference Between Obsessive and Obsessions
Obsessive is an adjective that describes someone’s overarching personality style. It’s not limited to particular subjects, but rather is characterized by generalized repetitive and anxious ruminating that goes in circles. It’s justified as attempts to plan and perfect, but often leads to procrastination. The obsessive personality likes to think that it can successfully take control by thinking.
Obsession is a noun that refers to a specific intrusive thought that you can’t stop, such as a fear that your house will catch on fire if you forget to clean the lint out of the dryer, that if you touch a cat you will be dangerously contaminated by germs, or that you will grab a knife and kill your mother. Consciousness feels like it’s being invaded by specific disturbing thoughts, such as losing control of oneself, images of violence, or becoming ill, rather than consciousness imagining that it can control everything, as occurs with people whose personalities are obsessive.
The Difference Between Compulsive and Compulsion
Compulsive is an adjective that describes an overarching personality style, one that’s always doing, fixing, or working, but not necessarily hooked on specific behaviors. Compulsive behavior might seem intentional, conscious and in control, but too often it’s a strategy for dealing with uncomfortable feelings.
Compulsion is a noun that refers to a specific behavior that you have difficulty not engaging in. When we use the word compulsion, we usually refer a particular repetitive behavior that we can’t stop, such as repetitively washing hands, checking locks, or turning off the stove. Compulsions feel like we’re being compelled by a force that’s out of our control.
Some people have all of these tendencies, but for most, one or two are primary.
Diagnostic Categories: OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) and OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder)
These distinctions are reflected in different diagnostic categories:
Specific obsessions and compulsions characterize Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), whereas obsessive and compulsive character traits characterize Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). It is possible to have both, but the two conditions are distinct. See my previous post about the difference. or you can listen to The Healthy Compulsive Project Podcast Episode Five.
Diagnostic categories such as these can give us a rough sense of where our challenges are. Metaphorically speaking, they can identify the state you live in psychologically, but not the neighborhood. It can tell you that you live in California, but not whether you’re in Haight-Ashbury or Beverly Hills. Your own version of OCD or OCPD will be different from everyone else’s. But it still helps to know which state you’re in.
In a previous post I described different types of OCPD that result from being more obsessive or more compulsive, with suggestions about how understanding these differences can help us move toward wholeness. You can listen to that blog post in Podcast Episode 8.
Moving On
No oncologist would simply say, “You have cancer,” and treat it indiscriminately, blasting your entire body with chemo and radiation. Informed treatment specifies the location of the problem and targets it precisely.
If you want to work on yourself to improve the quality of your life, it’s helpful to look closely at whether you are obsessive or compulsive, and whether you have specific obsessions and compulsions, or broader character traits.
While each of these are strategies to attempt to cope with disturbing feelings, identifying specifically which feelings trigger you, which strategy you use, and when you use it, will all be helpful. Anxiety and insecurity underlie most disturbing feelings, but doing your own investigation of which feelings lead you to be obsessive or compulsive is essential.
Identify the process as it’s happening in your everyday life, or in a session with your therapist. Once you can identify your strategy, you’re much better prepared to make different choices when you notice familiar feelings arise.
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While this blog and its specific posts are not intended as a substitute for psychological treatment with a mental health professional, you can get more ideas to enrich your understanding of the obsessive-compulsive personality by subscribing to The Healthy Compulsive Project Blog in the window at the bottom of this page.
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