People with obsessive-compulsive personality and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) are driven to be as productive and perfect as possible. There are good aspects to this. But both the amount of work that compulsives do, and how they approach work may begin to be self-destructive.
When this happens, something inside may go on strike to try to self-correct. Body and soul try to slow things down when they see danger ahead. But if the driven part insists on slogging forward with more work, the result is the painful standoff known as burnout.
Carl Jung believed that human psychology operates as a self-balancing system: when one part takes control and goes too far in one direction, another part of the system will try to compensate and push the individual in the other direction. Usually it works reasonably well. But nature isn’t perfect, and sometimes the system gets stuck. This is often the case with those who have OCPD.
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What Does Burnout Look Like?
Here are some characteristics of burnout:
- Memory and concentration difficulties
- Exhaustion and physical complaints
- Depressed mood, cynicism, indifference, self-attack
- Impatience with others and a desire to isolate
- Need to be busy, and difficulty resting
In most situations we get the message that something is off and we change how we’re living. But this particular combination of problems makes it hard to change. We’ll get to that. But first, let’s see how it gets to this point.
What Makes Burnout Worse for Compulsives?
Here are some characteristics of compulsives that make them especially vulnerable to burnout:
- Need for control. If you need to control the process too much it can feel like you’re beating your head against the wall. Everything feels harder. This hits compulsives where they feel it the most.
- Need for validation. It’s very human to want to be appreciated for what you do. But if you need to get it from everyone or even just certain people, and you don’t get it, work will feel exhausting. Compulsives feel a deep need for respect. And respect gives them energy. But when the diligence they put into their work is unrecognized, they may become depleted.
- Need for Efficiency. Most compulsives prize efficiency, and when interpersonal conflicts get in the way of production, it lowers their moral.
- Unrealistic goals. If you keep planning to solve 50 problems and you only get to 15 of them, you may find it discouraging or even depressing. You may fear a loss of status if you don’t succeed at your goals.
- Too much emphasis on work. All of these problems are magnified when the compulsive invests primarily in their work life at the expense of self-care, relationships, and leisure. There is little to balance or dilute work problems when that’s the main focus of your life. As one subject in a study said: “I don’t see people, but prospective customers. I don’t even know who they are. I don’t remember them. They’ve been objects for me for some time now.”
- Loss of connection with your inner life. Unhealthy compulsives lose track of what’s most important to them, and in particular with their original motivations. Any messages from inside that would help to slow down are “heroically“ silenced.
What Makes it Hard to Act on Messages From Your Unconscious
Even when you do get the message that you need to stop working so hard, two tendencies often make it difficult:
1.The neurochemical addiction to work.
2. The need to prove your value with work.
Together they’re almost unstoppable. They can override any message from the unconscious that you’re out of balance.
Work Addiction
You might be tired of working, but you can’t stop. You crave the gratification of crossing things off a list, but detest what your work requires of you. You feel worse and worse, but the only way you know to try to feel better is to get more work done.
A study published in the European Journal of Economics and Business Studies concluded that work addiction often leads to burnout. As one woman in the study said, “I have to keep doing it, I don’t know why, but I have to. If I’m not working, I’m not there, I’m not alive.”
Some people become burned out because they are forced by circumstances to work excessively, not because they like crossing things off a list. In this post I’m primarily addressing work burnout which begins with personal inclination (such as compulsive personality traits) rather than circumstances. But in many cases these overlap; some become addicted to work over time due to circumstances, and the situation aggravates an inclination that was dormant before.
Work can be just as addictive as substances for some people. While we don’t have solid research to back this up yet, there are reasons to believe that compulsives get a neurochemical reward for crossing things off their lists. For some people a few hits of endorphins for being productive makes them want more.
So, work addiction at its most advanced stage puts you on the road to burnout. And beware. Denial is the favorite defense mechanism of people who are addicted.
The Need to Prove Yourself
This problem becomes even more intractable if you feel that you need to prove yourself with productivity. It may be such a deeply ingrained part of your psychological strategy that it’s scary to stop. Many compulsives enlist their natural determination to be productive and meticulous to show to themselves and others that they’re worthy of respect.
Solutions: The Obvious and the Not So Obvious
The solutions may seem obvious. You’ve heard them a million times. Achieve Work-Life Balance. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
But it’s more complicated than just doing other things and working less.
True, you will need to put meaningful activities in place of your addiction to work.
And you will need to recognize and acknowledge that how you work is problematic, and that you’ve developed a work addiction that’s led to burnout. As with any addiction you will go through withdrawal when you try to change; it won’t feel good, and you may be tempted to give in to your addiction before you get to the other side. Remember though, as with any addiction, once you get over the worst of the withdrawal you’ll feel better.
To maintain “sobriety” and heal from burnout you’ll also need to face the deeper causes that lead you down that road. Otherwise you’ll continue to get pulled off a healthier track.
Here are three questions that will help you get moving in the right direction:
1. What are you trying to prove by working so hard?
2. What feelings, situations or relationships are you trying to avoid by working so hard?
3. What did you originally want to accomplish when you began working on this project?
A Fourteenth Century Warning That You’ve Lost Your Way
I’m going to end this post with a poem by Hafiz, the 14th century Sufi poet who gave us some advice on determining when we’re off course. This an excerpt from his poem Someone Untied Your Camel, rendered in English by Daniel Landinsky.
Hafiz sets a very high bar here. But it just might motivate you to slow down and listen to what your unconscious has to say to you.
Is your caravan lost?
It is,
If you no longer weep from gratitude or happiness,
Or weep
From being cut deep with the awareness
Of the extraordinary beauty
That emanates from the most simple act
And common object.
My dear, is your caravan lost?
It is if you can no longer be kind to yourself
And loving to those who must live
With the sometimes difficult task of loving you.
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