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The Healthy Compulsive Project: Help for OCPD, Workaholics, Obsessives, & Type A PersonalityThe Healthy Compulsive Project: Help for OCPD, Workaholics, Obsessives, & Type A Personality
The Healthy Compulsive Project
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why compulsive people get depressed
08 Feb
49

Why Compulsive People Get Depressed Part 1: The Missed Potential of Low Mood

Posted by Gary Trosclair 6 Comments

Constance was meticulous in everything she did. She was famous, and at times infamous, for...

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obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
16 Sep
49

How Do I Know If I Have Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder? And So What If I Do?

Posted by Gary Trosclair 5 Comments

Contents ToggleObsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)How Do I Know If I Have OCPD?Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder CriteriaLet’s...

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partner with OCPD
20 Jun
283

How to Get Along With a Partner With OCPD (Compulsive Personality)

Posted by Gary Trosclair 130 Comments

A partner with OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder), can be really difficult to live with....

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compulsive personality blog
31 May
24

The Healthy Compulsive Project: Taking the Wheel of the Driven Personality

Posted by Gary Trosclair 14 Comments

Contents ToggleWhy A Compulsive Personality Blog?A Style with Extremes: The Compulsive Personality SpectrumTaking the Wheel...

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compulsive exercise
30 May
16

Compulsive Personality: A New and Positive Perspective

Posted by Gary Trosclair 7 Comments

Compulsive. It’s not the kind of trait that will get you a wink on a...

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difference between OCD and OCPD
18 May
36

What is the difference between OCD and OCPD (compulsive personality)?

Posted by Gary Trosclair 4 Comments

Your colleague Mitch works very late hours, insists on perfection in team documents, and can...

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unearth the past
27 May
0

Should You Unearth the Past? How Looking Back Can Help us Move Forward

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Is burying the past holding you back? Most of us live as if we are still in the past without being aware of it. Discover how understanding your personal history can help you reclaim buried strengths, rewrite limiting stories, and live more freely in the present.

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insecurity
29 Apr
2

This is Not a Test: 3 Steps to Winning the Battle Against Insecurity

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Insecurity is often the cause of people becoming unhealthy compulsives rather than healthy compulsives. It’s as if life were a test and, fearing we will fail, we resort to rules, rigidity and control to prevent failure. It can be so prevalent, yet so hard to see, that it’s like the air we breathe. But rather than trying desparately to pass the test, we can take a pass on the test, and adopt ways of living that have more meaning.

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make life easier
08 Apr
2

Want to Make Life Easier? Break the Habits that Make It More Difficult Than It Needs to Be

Posted by Gary Trosclair 1 Comment

Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. To make life easier let’s explore the effect of the “Mountain Mirage,” its causes and its cures.

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forgiveness
25 Mar
0

Four Blocks to Releasing Resentment and Offering Forgiveness

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Whatever the motivation for withholding forgiveness, it usually hurts the holder more than it hurts the offending person. And as I’ll show in this post, not forgiving may be part of a larger mindset which blocks not just connection with that one person, but also a more fulfilling life.

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suicidal
04 Mar
4

How to Help a Partner, Friend or Relative Who Feels Suicidal

Posted by Gary Trosclair 2 Comments

How do you help a partner, relative or friend who feels suicidal? The situation is disturbing for anyone, and can be even more difficult for people who take too much responsibility and need to have things fixed and resolved. There are limits to what is within our control. And many of us feel too much responsibility in a situation like this. We like to think that there must be a solution to any and all problems—if we could just figure it out and work hard enough to execute that solution. But that’s very idealistic, if not naïve. Hopefully, and ideally, hearing themselves as they talk to you, and hearing you mirror their feelings empathically and simply, will help them realize that what needs to die is not they themselves, but their unrealistic standards, black and white thinking, and self-attack. Their dictator, tyrant, or judge.

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romantic love
11 Feb
1

Four Ways the Need for Control Smothers the Flames of Romantic Love

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Romantic love requires a mindset different from the controlling one, a mindset characterized by allowing, openness and flexibility. Valentine’s Day and anniversaries can serve as opportunities to celebrate and welcome what feels like the chaos of passion—including those deliciously dangerous feelings of being out-of-control. It’s like getting out of the prison of control. You can’t force romantic love. You can only surrender to it.

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Identity
21 Jan
3

Clinging to Sacred Cows:  Identity and Worth in the Compulsive Personality

Posted by Gary Trosclair 2 Comments

People with compulsive and obsessive tendencies tend to hold on to things—money, objects, time and ideas. We imagine that these things we hold on to make us more secure. But too often they bring us more stress than security. Some of the things we hold on to constitute our identity and worth. These are sacred cows in the worst sense—traits that we feel we can’t question much less let go of. And these cows are a heavy burden to carry. We’ll start with a story from the Buddha, explore scarcity mindset, and talk about two examples of women struggling with their sacred cows. Finally, we’ll discuss how letting go of sacred cows can lead to more fulfillment.

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defensive
31 Dec
3

Wield the Shield Wisely: How to Not Be Defensive

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Few of us make it through life without ever getting defensive.  Shields are universal and archetypal. But, at the risk of being dramatic, how defensive we get can dramatically affect our relationships and careers. Some people keep their Shield of protection up almost all the time. Others ram it into the other person’s face. Both of these can severely limit not just relationships and work, but, as we’ll see, your psychological growth as well.

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aging and OCPD
10 Dec
5

Welcome All Guests: Aging with OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality)

Posted by Gary Trosclair No Comments

Most people get happier as they reach their 50s, 60s and 70s. But people who are obsessive-compulsive and perfectionistic may miss out on the potential benefits. Their default strategy of control can block the those benefits, and leave us metaphorically pushing a rock up a hill, only to have it come crashing down again.

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conscientious
26 Nov
5

Driving Nowhere: The Dangers of Being Overly Conscientious

Posted by Gary Trosclair 1 Comment

Too often our efforts to be conscientious overshoot their goal and we become rigid and rulebound instead. Sometimes this is because we follow convention rather than conscience, and other times it’s because we have forgotten our original motivation. In both cases, becoming more mindful of conscience and more skillful in how we execute it can put us back on track, rather than driving nowhere.

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Recent Posts

  • Should You Unearth the Past? How Looking Back Can Help us Move Forward May 27, 2025
  • This is Not a Test: 3 Steps to Winning the Battle Against Insecurity April 29, 2025
  • Want to Make Life Easier? Break the Habits that Make It More Difficult Than It Needs to Be April 8, 2025
  • Four Blocks to Releasing Resentment and Offering Forgiveness March 25, 2025
  • How to Help a Partner, Friend or Relative Who Feels Suicidal March 4, 2025

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