Compulsives and perfectionists often feel responsible for making sure that things don’t go wrong. We’re naturally more meticulous, future-oriented, and risk averse. And all of those tendencies serve a very important function in relationships. But we need to be smart about how we use these tendencies. Without flexibility, they hurt more than help.
While I find parts of the Tao Te Ching baffling, exasperating and mystifying, Lao Tzu’s encouragement to accept things as they are still conveys an attitude toward life that I find to be a good counterpoint to my driven nature. Since Taoist wisdom can be especially useful to people who are compulsive, perfectionist, and obsessive, I thought it might be helpful for me to share how this enduring and poetic book has helped me.
Our North American culture has become obsessed with happiness and has made itself miserable in […]
One way to free ourselves from unhealthy compulsive behavior is to understand our motivations, what drives and actually controls us. While we’re all unique, there are ancient and common patterns that underlie the roles we take on in life such as mother, father, warrior, healer, savior, priest, jester, caretaker and leader. These patterns are known as archetypes, and they’re illustrated in myths and symbols. These patterns exert a magnetic influence that can give us intuitive guidance and energy to help us do what we need to do. Or they can drag us into a perpetual rut of expectations and despair. Heroic energy can flow freely like water, or be frozen and rigid like ice.
I often write about how essential it is for perfectionists and compulsives to let go […]
People who are compulsive and perfectionistic struggle mightily with disorder and unresolved situations. These may […]
Gaslighting. It’s become a popular term to describe what happens when one person tries to […]
Understanding the Four Types of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality to Achieve Balance
[Available in audio format at Google Podcasts and Apple, and Spotify.] As I’ve gotten to […]
Should you tell your partner how to be a better person? I mean, doesn’t it […]
The pandemic presents particular psychological challenges for people who are compulsive, Type A, and driven. […]
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