Perfectionism distances us rather than connecting us. There’s always something wrong with the world, so we give it the cold shoulder and go our merry way. But this actually causes alienation, that vague but ever-present sense that we are at odds with the world around us and that it’s a dangerous place. We don’t belong and it makes us anxious. As if an imperfect world could never be our world.
To make a dent in the pile of material you might feel you have to read to be up on the most recent developments in mental health, here’s a practical review of the relatively new approach to therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, with brief examples of how to apply it. Because one of the main goals of ACT is flexibility, it can be very helpful to anyone struggling with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), or to those just challenged by some obsessive-compulsive traits, perfectionism, workaholism, or Type A personality.
Seriousness is an occupational hazard for obsessive-compulsives, Type A’s and perfectionists. Being serious can hurt relationships, mental health and physical health. Yet many of us feel duty-bound to be serious and we lose out on the benefits of humor and laughter–which can melt the rigidity which comes with being serious.
How do we know if we are micromanaging? If you constantly look over someone’s shoulder, give them detailed instructions, distrust them, and make mountains out of molehills, it will discourage creativity, diminish morale, and disrupt relationships. It may even lead to them ignoring you. It brings about the opposite of your desired effect. Productivity, responsibility and ingenuity all decrease. It’s like trying to break a horse to train it. Instead we need to macromanage, to consider the larger picture of our values and priorities.
How do perfectionist and compulsive traits shape fatherhood? This post explores the challenges and opportunities for the obsessive father—how those traits can either alienate or elevate, harm or heal. Learn how self-awareness, values, and mindset can help fathers navigate the line between heroic and harmful.
Is burying the past holding you back? Most of us live as if we are still in the past without being aware of it. Discover how understanding your personal history can help you reclaim buried strengths, rewrite limiting stories, and live more freely in the present.
Insecurity is often the cause of people becoming unhealthy compulsives rather than healthy compulsives. It’s as if life were a test and, fearing we will fail, we resort to rules, rigidity and control to prevent failure. It can be so prevalent, yet so hard to see, that it’s like the air we breathe. But rather than trying desparately to pass the test, we can take a pass on the test, and adopt ways of living that have more meaning.
Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. To make life easier let’s explore the effect of the “Mountain Mirage,” its causes and its cures.
Whatever the motivation for withholding forgiveness, it usually hurts the holder more than it hurts the offending person. And as I’ll show in this post, not forgiving may be part of a larger mindset which blocks not just connection with that one person, but also a more fulfilling life.
How do you help a partner, relative or friend who feels suicidal? The situation is disturbing for anyone, and can be even more difficult for people who take too much responsibility and need to have things fixed and resolved. There are limits to what is within our control. And many of us feel too much responsibility in a situation like this. We like to think that there must be a solution to any and all problems—if we could just figure it out and work hard enough to execute that solution. But that’s very idealistic, if not naïve. Hopefully, and ideally, hearing themselves as they talk to you, and hearing you mirror their feelings empathically and simply, will help them realize that what needs to die is not they themselves, but their unrealistic standards, black and white thinking, and self-attack. Their dictator, tyrant, or judge.
The Healthy Compulsive book is now available in paperback in addition to hardcover and e-book format:
Healthy Compulsive Book
© 2026 · Gary Trosclair, The Healthy Compulsive Project