Relationships & Family Archives - The Healthy Compulsive

Four Ways the Need for Control Smothers the Flames of Romantic Love

Feb 11, 2025

Romantic love requires a mindset different from the controlling one, a mindset characterized by allowing, openness and flexibility. Valentine’s Day and anniversaries can serve as opportunities to celebrate and welcome what feels like the chaos of passion—including those deliciously dangerous feelings of being out-of-control. It’s like getting out of the prison of control. You can’t force romantic love. You can only surrender to it.

Wield the Shield Wisely: How to Not Be Defensive

Dec 31, 2024

Few of us make it through life without ever getting defensive. Shields are universal and archetypal. But, at the risk of being dramatic, how defensive we get can dramatically affect our relationships and careers. Some people keep their Shield of protection up almost all the time. Others ram it into the other person’s face. Both of these can severely limit not just relationships and work, but, as we’ll see, your psychological growth as well.

Driving Nowhere: The Dangers of Being Overly Conscientious

Nov 26, 2024

Too often our efforts to be conscientious overshoot their goal and we become rigid and rulebound instead. Sometimes this is because we follow convention rather than conscience, and other times it’s because we have forgotten our original motivation. In both cases, becoming more mindful of conscience and more skillful in how we execute it can put us back on track, rather than driving nowhere.